{blackbabes} Nicki Minaj Premieres Steamy "High School" Music Video, Featuring a Closet Full of Crazy Outfits

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New day, new wig: Such is the plight of Nicki Minaj. And today that wig is blond, because everyone knows that any mafia wife worthy of descending a grand staircase in dramatic fashion is blond (How to Dress for Illegal Activity, p. 118-121).

Nicki's latest music video, "High School," finds her married to the cartel (straight out of Weeds) and sexing up Lil Wayne (scenes that we definitely didn't need to see. Like, hard pass on that).

And while her wig game is rather tame this time around, the fashion is truly...Nicki-ish. So we've ranked the outfits from least outrageous to most...Nicki-ish.

5. This Dress: Oh how pretty and not very outrageous at all! The blunt wig and spiked heels are very I-saw-a-movie-about-the-Russian-mob-once, but hey, if she was going that route anyway, at least she didn't opt for velour sweatpants and no underwear.

MTV

4. This Bikini: Sure, in behind-the-scenes footage, her nips may have slipped (as the kids say), but, for the most part, this swimsuit covers everything. Just as long as she avoids, like, waterparks. Or waves. Or a strong gust of wind. Or a weak gust of wind. Or moving at all.

MTV

3. This Lingerie: It's lingerie. And as far as lingerie goes, nothing looks edible. Or like it would be classified as a "harness."

MTV

2. This Mask: If you've already got a mask covered in diamonds, you probably don't need to rob anyone (that's greedy). Plus, this ensemble just seems impractical. You wear all black for a robbery because it makes you harder to see, not because it's slimming. No one cares if their robber is fat or thin, they just care just about the fact that they're being robbed.